Chutes and Ladders

OK, how does Chutes and Ladders relate to my situation?  Well, I will tell you all. (I have a WEIRD way of finding life parallels in the simplest and oddest of situations.  Some time I'll have to tell about the awesome spiritual parallels I found with nose picking, and puking, or playing with playdough.)
 
My 9 year old was having a rough night tonight.  After he said his prayers, he began talking about how much he missed Gideon.  And he started to cry...hard.  And of course, I was crying and trying not to cry, and trying to help counsel him through it, but I also understand his emotions very well.  Poor tender soul.  He whispered "Why did Heavenly Father have to do this?"
 
It was one of those quick "Dear Heavenly Father, please help me to say the right thing to help this child." moments.  Those have happened a lot in my life, but especially lately.
 
So I gave him a scenario.  "Let's pretend that heaven is like a giant scrumptious candy bar."  (James REALLY likes food.)  "You and I are going through life and working hard and learning and having experiences, and we still haven't earned our candy bar.  Gideon only had to be here for a week and he got his.  So...who got the better deal?"
 
My sweet James replied that Gideon got the good end of the deal, and then said he wished he could have traded with Gideon (which was NOT where I wanted this to go) because then Gideon could have had more experiences on this earth, since he (James) had already gotten to see and do so many things.  More tears. (I LOVE being a Mom even during these hard moments.  They help me to step back and see the awesome spirits I am raising and the potential they have, and help me to remember the most important things.)
 
So then we talked about the resurrection.  I recited the 10th Article of Faith for him.  (The Articles of Faith were written by Joseph Smith as a response to a question from a newspaper editor about what we believe.  There are 13 statements, that pretty clearly state our beliefs.  Most of the beliefs aren't unique to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as they come from scripture.  We share most of them with people from other faiths.)  The 10th one talks about the restoration of the 10 tribes of Israel, the establishment of Zion on the earth, that Christ will reign upon the earth, and that the earth will become a paradise.  We talked about Gideon getting to be resurrected and live on the earth when it's a paradise, no thorns to step on, no wild animals to be afraid of.
 
And then I related it to Chutes and Ladders.  When we play games like Candyland or Chutes and Ladders at our house, we all get to win.  It's just that the first person to "arrive" is the first winner.  The second person is the "next winner", and so on until everyone has had the chance to get to the end of the game.   High fives all around. 
 
I asked him, "When I am the first one to get to the end of Candyland, do I just sit there while you play, or do I get up and do other things?"  And he said "You get up and do other things."  And I said that was correct.  There are a lot of good things that need to be done around the house, so if I get done with the game, I go fold laundry or run and do some dishes or whatever. 
 
And THAT is what Gideon is doing.  It was like on the first turn of Chutes and Ladders he got to take a ladder right to the end of the game, and he is the first one done.  And the rest of us are still playing the game, and he is busy doing other good things in heaven.  (And I really believe that the spirits in heaven ARE doing good things.) 
 
James said "It's like he got a first class ticket." 
 
 
 

"Yes!" (He gets it!!!  He's not crying!  He isn't still wishing he could trade places!!) (although I CAN relate.  I sometimes wish I could have given him the chance to see and feel and do things here and traded with him.) 

 
I felt so happy and excited myself, as I thought about how this is really how it is.  We are stuck on a long journey through life where we are walking, sometimes trudging along, and Gideon got a first class ticket on the fast train to heaven.
 
Then we talked about how we will still get to where Gideon is if we keep moving, but it's going to take us a lot longer.  And the only way we won't get there is if we give up and quit trying.  It takes only hours to cross this continent if you are on an airplane, but takes months if you are walking.  So we keep walking.  And we hurt, and we wish he was with us.  My arms ache to hold him.  Sometimes it feels like my chest is being sat on by an elephant, it's just so heavy, so tight.  But we keep on walking and trying to do our best, and even more to BECOME our best.
 
I thought about how upset I feel lately when I learn about people who throw their babies away, or kill them, or other crazy things.  I just want my baby so badly and wish people would consider giving theirs to someone who would treasure it, before they do something horrible and destroy life.  AND I told James how grateful I am that Scott and I were married in the temple and sealed forever and our children are ours forever, and that even though right now I can't hold Gideon in my arms, he will still belong to our family always.  Unless I throw it away.  If I choose not to keep the promises I made to God and to Scott in the temple, I will be throwing my baby away too.  What a realization...I do NOT want to do that!

 I am so glad that we got to have time to enjoy Gideon on this earth, even though his time here was so short.  We have precious pictures (as you can see) and at least a few memories with him.  Gideon came and played the "game" with our family.  We all got to see him, and hold him, and feel the spirit he had.   Sometimes when I play Candyland with the kids, and I am the "first winner" I am relieved so that I can go and do other important things.  He was our "first winner."  And he was perhaps also relieved to be done with the burden that life can be, and so he can get to doing important things for Heavenly Father.  The rest of us will keep playing, until we all get to the glorious end.  I am excited for that round of high fives, when we have all become winners.