A few months ago, I was able to see a stage production of Fiddler on the Roof with my talented sister and her talented husband in the cast, so these songs were relatively fresh in my mind. If you HAVEN'T seen Fiddler on the Roof and heard "Do you love me?" that the main character (Tevye, a Jewish man living in a time and place when it was beginning to be dangerous to be Jewish, and father to several girls who are coming of age to get married) sings to his wife, it's beautiful. I am going to spoil it for you right here, so if you want to see it first, here's a link. Do You Love Me? with subtitles He asks her "Do you love me?" and she is taken aback. She immediately responds first with "Do I what?!". Then she tries to think of reasons why he would be crazy enough to ask that question--are you tired, do you have indigestion, do you need to lie down? He continues to ask, to require her to think about it, and she thinks about all she's done, all the motions she's gone through over the years and decides that yes indeed she does.
There was a lot of emphasis placed on the scriptures when the resurrected Savior asks Peter "Peter, lovest thou me?" It's in John 21, I had to check to find it again, because I wanted to read it and dwell more on it. I thought this isn't too different than "Do you love me?" Peter was also taken aback, but had the presence of mind not to ask "Do I what?", and was able to say (paraphrasing) "Yes, you know that I love you." (Peter probably wondered why it was that the Savior would ask him such a question, much like Golde did in Fiddler on the Roof. And much like Golde, he expected the Savior to already know of his feelings.) And the Savior's simple response and reminder was "Feed my lambs".
But then, the Savior (like Tevye) asks again "Do you love me?" And Peter, who has already given what he feels like is a very definite answer, is probably really confused as to why Jesus is asking him this again. Perhaps...maybe Jesus didn't hear him clearly the first time. Peter responds with the EXACT same wording as he had the first time. "Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee." And the Savior says "Feed my sheep."
I find it truly interesting that this is in the final chapter of the gospels, in the epic finale to the gospels. And what is the Savior telling Peter? Don't assume I know you love me by you talking about it, or trying to follow me around. Do something about it. Show kindness to others, love others, feed them, serve them, help them.
Knowing about loving the Savior isn't enough. "Inasmuch as ye have done it to the least of one of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." We actually have to show love to the Savior by showing love to others. Part of Golde's explanation to Tevye about how she's shown she loves him is when she sings a list of all the ways she has served him over the years. Jesus is expecting the same from us--if we love him, feed his sheep. He ALSO says "If ye love me, keep my commandments." (in John 14:15). If Peter had been able to spontaneously burst into song like characters do in musicals, he might have been able to sing "For these last years, I've followed you, walked with you, done as you do." But just walking, and talking like the Savior isn't enough. It's a great start, to go through the motions. (It's where Golde started too--doing what a wife was expected to do, serving and cleaning and caring for a husband she had just met. She GREW to love him.) We grow to love the Savior as we go through the motions of serving him and keeping his commandments. We grow to love others as we serve them and work for their good.
We have to love God enough to trust Him, we have to love Him enough to keep His commandments, AND we also have to love God enough to take care of and watch out for each other. I think that, for me, I need to spend more time reexamining the question as if the Savior approached me and asked "Do you love Me?". I've been thinking of the response--the musical reply "Do I love you?" How would the song continue, if I was singing this duet with my Savior? "Well, I...I really do love you, I hope you believe me, but I can't think of anything I've done to help or serve anyone or to show you that I'm trying to follow you." Or will I be able to (like Golde) have at least a small list of ways I'm demonstrating my love each day. Could I sing the same words I penned for Peter? "For 34 years I've followed you, walked with you, done as you do." I WANT to love him better and more. I feel comfort from Him, I take solace in His plan and His mercy. Truly though, in order for me to be showing my love for him, I need to be sharing that love more with others. That's the ultimate show of love for Christ, to feed his lambs and his sheep.
I also love that he put lambs first--as a Mom, I more often "feed lambs" than I "feed sheep", and I appreciate that taking care of and teaching my children (and other children) is an important way I can show love to my Savior.
Peter is questioned a third time. It says he was grieved because the Lord asked him a third time. I would be too. If Jesus asked me "Do you love me?" and I said "Yes." and then He asked me again and again, I'd wonder if I was not doing enough to show him my love for Him. Jesus knows everything--Peter saw that too, and it concerned him very much, and probably really made him examine his behaviors, made him question if he was following and loving the Savior as well as he could or should. I'd feel like I must be not a very good disciple if there was that much need for Him to ask me over and over. I am betting that the Savior, who knew he was leaving Peter in charge of the church and the apostles, really hoped this message would sink in deeply. Love is not just lip service--it's SERVICE.
Each day, I try to make sure my children know I love them. Especially since the loss of Gideon, I feel that the NUMBER ONE thing my kids need to take with them each day is a powerful feeling that they are loved. I don't know how much time I will have with any of them, and time and love are precious treasures. Some days, I even openly ask them "Do you know that I love you?" The days when I know I can do better are the days when they say things like "Yes, but..." followed by something I did that hurt their feelings or a way they felt like I didn't listen to them. For example (and I am guilty of these things) "Yes, but I don't like it when you yell at me." Or "Yes, but you told me you'd read to me and then you didn't." Everyone deserves to feel loved. We're all God's children, and we are responsible for helping each other know that God loves us, by acting on promptings He gives us to help and serve and love his sheep. (And I am guilty of sometimes not acting on promptings too, which I'm hoping to do better about.)
I truly love Peter. I just feel like I can relate to him, because despite all his amazing character traits, he still has those very human moments. He wants to show the Savior how much he loves Him. He wants to be all in, but doesn't always understand how to be. He had great faith, which still wavered when he became overwhelmed by life's storms and dangerous situations. He was such a good man, and yet he still slipped up occasionally. I hope, like Peter, that I can learn and grow in faith, that I can be trusted to feed the sheep of God. I have a long way to go to even becoming like Peter, let alone like the Savior, but I am trying to be on the right road and keep putting one foot in front of the other. And I really do hope to sing that duet with Jesus one day (if he can sing)...I think it would be a pretty epic moment. "Do you love me?" "Do I love you?"
Food for thought. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI have to wonder if my children and grandchildren know that I love them. Most of all I hope my Savior knows I love him by my actions. I need to do better. Thanks for the reminder.