A few of you who know me well know that Philippians 4:13 is my favorite scripture. “I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me.” While it’s still my favorite and I have firm faith in its truth, that doesn’t ever stop me from being human. I feel overwhelmed. I feel unsure of myself. I feel like I don’t know what to do or how to do it. And I’ve felt particularly overwhelmed lately. I'm trying to find time to help my teenagers with their homework, to make sure my oldest child is getting in his driving hours before he gets his license, trying to teach piano, trying to teach my 4 year old to read, nursing a baby, making home cooked meals. I want each member of my family to know they are loved, and sadly, often my husband comes last. We're trying to do better about reading scriptures together, there's just so so so much to do, so much to think about, so many lives to balance. The house has been a disaster since before Christmas. Not an EPIC disaster, but there's a little clutter here, there, and everywhere. In trying to squeeze in all these important things, the house has just not taken a high enough priority to declutter and organize it all. And organization is not a gift of mine, so it really does take some high effort for me to make it happen.
One of the beautiful things about this scripture is that it’s not about me—it’s about Christ. I don’t have to do it all, I don’t have to know everything, because He’s helping and that’s what counts. I am still feeling very overwhelmed and unsure, but I also feel grateful for so many blessings. While Christ can't really help me with cleaning the house, (well, He could, but He's pretty busy with other things), knowing that He is busy with other things reminds me that it's OK that I'm sometimes pretty busy with other things too.
And sometimes, my overwhelmed isn't an overwhelmed that's an overload of struggle, sometimes it's a heart so full it feels like it'll burst. I watch my teenagers snuggle my baby, as I watch my 4 year old sing to her when she starts to cry, as I watch my 11 year old try so hard to get her to laugh and the whole group gathers around. My sweet husband and I have been married almost 19 years, and he still makes me smile every day, and he does kind, thoughtful things that make me feel so treasured. My children are all growing and developing into talented, smart individuals. They're pretty kind to others, now I just need to get them to be kind to each other...
So I know Christ is giving me strength and perspective through all this craziness, and I'm doing my best to enjoy the ride.
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