Most people think I'm nuts for having as many children as I do. (I've had 6 babies, each one wanted and planned.) I have accepted that truth (that I'm nuts)...there is a certain amount of crazy that just has to be part of you to want to have this many responsibilities, this much potential for life to be randomly turned upside down, this much noise. I also think, though, that I have grown and learned so much from each of my children, and each one helps my heart grow and adds so much to our family. Sometimes when I'm pregnant, even though I want and love the baby, I'm nervous and afraid of how we'll all handle life with another child in our family. Once they are here though, I typically wonder what we would ever do without them.
My toddler loves her stuffed animals a lot. She likes to snuggle so many of them when she goes to bed that I'm not sure how she manages to hold them all. When I put her to bed, she asks for each one by name. "Bippo. Jaffe. Owl. Bear. Bunny." (We never used to put her to bed with stuffed animals, but once she got old enough to talk and carry them around and interact with them, they sort of just ended up snuggling with her.) Sometimes there are some changes to which ones she snuggles, but there are often more than really fit in her little arms. Her smile, though, when her arms are full of her little animals reminds me of how my heart feels when we have those moments where we're all together and enjoying the moment. I had to take a picture of it, because she's just so cute about it.
Whether it's reading a good book together, enjoying a movie together, going camping or exploring a new place together, or trying new foods together, my heart delights in the moments when my "treasures" are all nearby, sharing memories with me (when the moments don't contain bickering, fighting, complaining about hunger, or pestering--which are also a very real part of having such a large family). I have more blessings than my arms can carry, more children to hug than can actually fit well in my arms all at once, but I am so truly happy. I'd be lying if I said that this journey doesn't overwhelm me sometimes. It does. One thing I am learning is that just because something is overwhelming doesn't mean it is impossible. And I've found that I should NOT turn away from things that overwhelm me, because they are also awesome chances to grow and share in moments that make my heart burst.
No comments:
Post a Comment