A literary masterpiece

Over the course of the last 5 months, I have often pondered a lot about why bad things have to happen.  This may seem like a silly answer, but I love books, and that love got dragged through my thought process yesterday, as I tried to think of what I wanted to do and change this year.   As I thought about it last night, I concluded that stories would be boring if nothing bad happened.  Good literature is full of characters who learn from the experiences they have.  They make mistakes, the people around them make mistakes, bad things happen.  There is exploration of love and hate, good and evil, there are questions that go unanswered except in our own hearts and minds as the reader.  Depth and emotion are found in stories when characters are real and bad things happen.



Let me give you an example of a very boring story.  Destined to NEVER become a classic, it's called "It's All Good." 

Once upon a time there was a loving family.  They were perfect.  Nothing bad ever happened to them.  Their family grew.  Everyone loved them, and they loved everyone.  They went places together, they learned together, they loved each other.  The end.

Not very gripping, huh?  The bad things that happen make our stories much more interesting and exciting.  You can't have a rollercoaster if there are no ups and downs.  Highs and lows are much better than a flat line.  Flat lines mean you are dead.  (Or very dull.)

Plus...if I was reading that very brief and short story, I would raise my eyebrows at the "they learned together" part.  Learning often comes because of bad things or hard things.  Sure, you could learn your alphabet, and learn to count, and learn to read, and learn to cook, but most things that really teach one's character are the result of a mistake.  I learned to be much more careful peeling potatoes when I peeled my finger at age 7.  A life lesson happened when I hurt and bled.  I can't tell you how many life lessons I have experienced in the last 5 months.  You have read through some of them here.  It feels like the death of our Gideon has been a defining point in my life, things have changed since then. 

My character has grown, my feelings have broadened and deepened, I find wisdom and knowledge and emotion in places I never used to find it before.  I think I have become a kinder person, and have sought more opportunities to give and help others since he passed away.  It is awesome and awful at the same time, I feel like sometimes now I take life too seriously.  And when I let go and be silly and laugh and celebrate, I also find myself feeling open to sadness more.  Feeling moments of tender and infinite happiness, like when my kids curl up on the couch with me as we read Harry Potter, or as we dance and belt out "Let it Go" are a blessing and also a trial.  Those happy moments are so fun for me, yet they serve as a reminder of what I have to wait for to have with my Gideon. 

I love J.K. Rowling, her Harry Potter books are wonderful and fun, and they have helped my children to become better readers.  They pull our family together sometimes.  Bad things, very bad things happen in her stories.  And they are hard to experience (yep, I cried when I read the 6th book).  They make you wonder why, what good can come of this?  As we see and experience more of the story, explanations are found, happy moments and times of relief are present even with and after the tender and sad moments.  And I catch myself expecting a "really good part" after something bad or hard.

As a New Year's decision (not resolution--nobody ever keeps those anyway), I am trying to view life as "a good story" now.  I want to take the bad and the good as a part of the whole.  I read books and wonder why an author chose certain words, why he or she chose to have a certain character die or undergo a very difficult challenge.  When bad things happen, I know that there will be a "good part" coming later.  I am trying to view my life that same way.  The bad parts help develop character, keep things interesting, help to make the good and fun parts that much better.

I have become more trusting of my Heavenly Father now than I was before, partly out of necessity.  I have needed the comfort from knowing that there is a why behind Gideon dying.  I have needed to know that his stories have happy endings.  I am trying to let him be the author of my story, of my family's story. I am excited that there are many more good parts left in my story.  I am nervous about the sad moments, the conflicts that are yet to be faced.  I don't even think I can explain how much this scripture has become my friend over the last 5 months.  "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not to thine own understanding.  In all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct all thy paths."  Proverbs 3:5&6

Anyone who wants to join me in my process of viewing the bigger picture, taking the pieces of my story in stride knowing that there is more to come, please do so.  I am hoping to blog later in the year about this shift in perspective, and I'd love to hear your comments and experiences too.  I know that many good things are coming, and many questions yet to be answered as a part of my story, and yours.