The gist is this: our base needs must be met before we can worry about the next "level" up.
All elections aside: different people are at different places on the pyramid, and it's sometimes hard to understand those who are in a different place than we are. If I'm starving to death because I have no home, no food, and I haven't slept in days, I'm probably not going to feel as bad about stealing a loaf of bread (thanks Jean Valjean), as if all my needs are met. I just wouldn't be in the same position as a well-to-do person who never experienced hunger, who only philosophized about how stealing is wrong. (And it is...I'm not saying one should steal, just that it's much harder to achieve a self actualization type mentality when your physical needs are suffering.) Even if we were all in the "self actualization" area, where all our basic needs are met, we feel safe, secure, loved, and we're working on achieving things and being creative, we're going to go about those things in hugely different ways. Welcome to being a human being.
When I vote, I look at the candidates, what they represent, what type of a world leader they will be, how they will help me and the other people in the country to achieve their needs, and then I vote for the person who I believe will be best for the country as a whole. We have to remember, though, that our needs are not a "one size fits all" and so there are going to be many people who choose a different candidate based on different needs and ideals. And that's AWESOME. In the end, the idea behind a democracy is that the majority of people will have their needs/ideals met by choosing a leader that best matches their needs, wants, and ideals.
I think, especially in this USA 2016 election, that there really wasn't a great leader who could by a HUGE majority best meet the needs, wants, and ideals of most people. This was a really tight election--Trump took the electoral college, and Hillary took the popular vote, which leaves a lot of people unhappy. AND in many states, they both took less than 50% of the vote, with a few additional percent having voted 3rd party. So, less than half the people got who they voted for, and even if Hillary had won, there'd still be more than half of the population who would not have gotten the candidate they chose. It's a rough year for satisfaction with the election, all around.
To be open/honest, I did not vote for either. I felt that the USA could and should do better, and that our two party system had failed us by giving us people who didn't really represent our needs/wants. The Democratic nominee should have been Bernie, if they wanted to represent the actual people. And Donald Trump isn't actually a conservative person, so he's not very representative of the Republican party. And as a "realistic optimist" I knew that there was no way my candidate could win, and a lot of people told me I was wasting my vote, and that I shouldn't vote at all, and that I HAD to choose between the two candidates, and (well...you probably know the rhetoric. Perhaps you have heard it or rehearsed it to someone else.) I knew I'd be disappointed, and I steeled myself for it, knowing that either way, I'd feel like the USA could have and should done better, a lot better, at providing candidates that "We the People" actually wanted.
I typically like to believe the best in people. I have found that I usually care about any/every person I take the time to get to know, and I believe that would be true for the rest of the people on earth (with a few exceptions.) I really think that most of us are good inside (again--with a few exceptions.)
So here's where my optimism bubble gets popped. We seem to have forgotten that other people are still human beings. In the aftermath of the election, many people are consumed with their feelings of disappointment, anger, and shock, and are giving in to name calling, judging, telling people they should be in Hell, making threats, losing friendships....We ARE ALL PEOPLE. We all have a need for safety, and some people legitimately feel threatened by Donald Trump. (This is maybe unrealistic optimism, but I'm optimistic that since we have a checks and balances in place with a legislative and judicial branch, it won't be THAT BAD, and he won't be able cram unconstitutional laws down everyone's throats.) I can't blame people for feeling threatened or nervous about a Donald Trump presidency, because I am nervous about it too. (I'm doing my all to keep this post NON-negative; I don't want to say ANYTHING negative about either of the major party candidates, because negativity has been spewed enough, and this post is about being a human being, not about being on one side or the other.) I would have also been nervous if Hillary Clinton had won. People who are nervous about a Trump presidency should not be mocked, belittled, or certainly not gloated over (especially since Hillary Clinton won the popular vote.) People who voted for a third party should not be mocked, belittled, or certainly not gloated over (after all, they just wanted better choices, and there wasn't much to go on this year.) People who voted for Trump should not be threatened, sworn at, and should not gloat. They were trying to make a choice based on their own interpretation of needs/wants.
For some reason, social media has made this worse. I have personally been belittled and made fun of by complete strangers on Facebook during this election cycle. Would you talk to a person you were seeing in the grocery store, at the post office, or at the library the way you talk to someone on social media? Probably not--because for some reason, talking to someone on a screen seems to be less real, we forget that the person on screen is a person. They're just words on a screen to us, not someone who maybe has a family, who maybe lost a child, or maybe whose wife has cancer, or who just came out of the closet. We are all REAL human beings. So lets BE KIND and help each other feel safe.
A friend of mine (a beautiful, funny democratic friend of mine named Sarah Zarate-Braudaway Clark) shared this, and I wholeheartedly agree with what she observed.
1. I don't think hate won.2. For some, it was about hate and others, fear. 3. So much fear. 4. But for others, for people I love and respect, Trump was the best choice they felt they had for many reasons other than fear or hate. 5. Just as mine was in Hillary after supporting Bernie in the primary.6. Just as other friends did in voting third party. 7. I panicked tonight. I panicked and hurt and cried and almost lost myself in the fear that hate had won, that none of us are safe.8. I'm still afraid of what all of this means for so many and what it will mean over the next four years for our nation. 9. But I don't think hate won. 10. It was exposed, showing all of us the work that still needs to be done. 11. I don't think hate can win unless we let fear win and stop fighting for each other. 12. And I don't think fear will win, not for me, because I will not stop working for the society I believe we could have.I'm also going to point out (as I think it merits explaining, and fits in with Maslow's hierarchy of needs) that she said she able to observe all this from a place of privilege--she is safe and not as threatened by a Donald Trump presidency as some other groups of people might be.
To assume that people voted for Donald Trump because they hate others and are bigots is an unfair assumption, and belittles their humanity. To assume that people voted for Hillary Clinton because they love evil is an unfair assumption, and belittles their humanity. Many people voted for the one of the two that they felt was less threatening. Most of us, though, are trying to work hard for a future where there is peace and prosperity for all of us.
I believe in a better country, in a better world, where we're trying to help each other succeed, where we're helping each other feel safe, loved, successful, and free to pursue our creativity and morality in ways that don't step on the toes of other people's safety, success, and creativity/morality. That's a super tricky balance to achieve, and we do a lot of teetering back and forth as a country, and as a world. If you've ever been on a balance beam with another person, and tried to knock them off balance, you know that it's almost just as easy to throw your own balance off when knocking someone else down. So don't try to throw the other person off balance--we're all in the middle of this tricky balancing act, lets communicate respectfully and work together.
President Obama said today: "We are not Democrats first, we are not Republicans first, we are Americans first", and I'd like to add "We are human beings first." So let's act like it. There is much work to be done to make the world a less hateful place, and saying hateful things to someone who doesn't agree with you is not going to help. (And there is so much irony in saying hateful things or doing hateful things to someone who you believe is wrong for following a hateful person.) I'm optimistic that we can do better and become better, and that we can fight dark with light, fight hate with love, and fill our nation (and the world) with respect and dignity.
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