Throw a Starfish

My heart has done a lot of aching over the last few weeks.  Our family is approaching the 2nd birthday of a baby who never got to come home from the hospital.  I wonder about who he would be, and I miss what I might have known.  What would he have loved?  How would his laugh sound?  What would his first sentence have been?  And lately, my heart strings are pulled as I hear story after story of other families who now have a loved one who won't be coming home, and not due to a natural medical ailment, but because another person took their life away.  I know how it feels to lose a son, and I'd never wish it on anyone.

I feel so lost, so overwhelmed sometimes.  I want to help, but I don't know how.  There are so many awful things, and I just want to hug everyone better.  I keep thinking of a story I heard once, and had to find and re-read.  Here it is:

The Star Thrower

A man was walking on the beach one day and noticed a boy who was reaching down, picking up a starfish and throwing it in the ocean.  As he approached, he called out, “Hello!  What are you doing?”  The boy looked up and said, “I’m throwing starfish into the ocean”.  “Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the man.  “The tide stranded them.  If I don’t throw them in the water before the sun comes up, they’ll die” came the answer.  “Surely you realize that there are miles of beach, and thousands of starfish.  You’ll never throw them all back, there are too many.  You can’t possibly make a difference.”  The boy listened politely, then picked up another starfish.  As he threw it back into the sea, he said, “It made a difference for that one.”

I'm a thrower of starfish, like the boy.  And sometimes, like the man, I'm a skeptic.  I see all that there is to be done, and I just feel so bogged down, I don't know where to start, and I don't think it even matters, because I can't possibly make a difference.  My current wonder is: What if the boy had hollered to his friends for help, and they each got a friend, could they have saved all the starfish within a mile?  There are thousands of starfish, but there are also thousands of people who visit the beach each day...

I'm doing a shout-out, calling out to anyone willing to make a difference, even just to one person.  Gideon's birthday is July 25.  His "death day" was August 1st.  Please take a day within that week, and "throw a starfish".  Reach out to someone that you normally wouldn't have.  I don't know what I'm going to do yet.  I've got a few ideas swimming around in my head, and I want to find one that my other children can help with, and one that will make my heart really feel.  Even though it hurts to feel the love I have for my son, because he's not here, I also rejoice in the fact that my heart has grown more tender, and I want to take that empathy and use it to improve myself and my sphere of influence.  I can't fix all the world's problems, but I'd like to make a difference to someone.  I don't know what to do, but some ideas I've had are to visit a hospital or a retirement home, where many people are sick or lonely, and give them time--one of my most precious gifts.  I wish I had enough money to make a difference to many homeless people, every day, but I could try to make a difference to one, maybe two during that week.  Perhaps it could even just be spreading random kindness to strangers, like paying for people in a restaurant or drive through.  The world needs more love, more kindness, and more compassion.  So start chucking those starfish with me.